Today I was browsing through the Fall 2008 issue of BYU Magazine, and I noticed an article about how birth order can impact the amount of parental time children receive. A recent study showed that "firstborn children get about 3000 more hours of parental time between the ages of 4 and 13 than secondborns." This may explain why firstborns "generally get more and better education, score higher on tests, and end up with jobs that pay more."
There may be multiple reasons for the difference in parental time. A parent with multiple children often has to divide time between them. Also, more children may mean more chauffeuring to extracurricular activities, and consequently less family time. Moreover, while firstborns only have a parent to teach them new things, secondborns often prefer to play with their sibling, so big brother or sister may be the one who teaches words and activities instead of Mom or Dad.
One first/secondborn difference that really struck me was the fact that parents often spend much more time reading to their first child than their second. When I read that, I realized that when Joy was an infant I used to read her multiple books a day, but the only time I read anything to Daniel is when Joy happens to bring a book over while he's on my lap. Even reading with Joy has become rare because life is busier and she often requests other activities instead.
I want both my children to experience the joy of reading, and I'm glad this article woke me up to the fact that I've let reading be sidelined lately. I think I'll introduce Daniel to a few board books this afternoon.
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4 comments:
Hey, I'm a second born and I never felt like I didn't get enough reading time. :)
But seriously--don't stress out too much. Be careful (it sounds like you are) but realize that we all (even us neglected second borns) can turn out pretty okay. And pretty avid readers. :)
Reading definitely became harder with two kids for us as well. But, we make sure to read to them before bed (nap and night). So, we make sure to read at least 2 times a day every day. This has helped with the bedtime routine and has helped to make sure that reading is part of our day everyday.
Later borns tend to be less high strung (less pressure), more unselfish (they don't know anything but sharing) and have great social skills (they interact more with people closer to their age than adults).
You'll figure it out and in the end that 3000 hours less will be compensated for ten times over. Remember, until your babe came along you were just a couple with a child. NOW you are a family--let the learning begin!
I know that this is true - generally speaking. And, spending time with Adam is something I am trying to be very conscious of.
I also work very hard to never say "no" when one of my kids brings me a book. Now, I read much more to Adam than Hannah (which has a lot to do with the fact that she reads to herself).
Tricky - all the changes from single-kid-mom to multiple-kid-mom.
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