Phillip and I met a twenty-something guy named Graham today, and as we were getting to know him he said something I thought was well worth remembering. He told us that when he meets someone new, he likes to ask “What’s your deal?” He feels that inquiring specifically about a person’s job or studies restricts how they can respond, but if you ask a more general question it allows them to choose what they’ll talk about. By letting them decide how to describe themselves, you can learn things about them you might not have thought to ask about. If nothing else, a person’s response could teach you a lot about what’s important to them and how they perceive themselves.
As I wrote the previous paragraph, I got to wondering how I would respond if someone asked me to tell them about myself. I would probably talk about new motherhood and my religious beliefs, since those two factors probably have the biggest impact on my life right now. My education and the jobs I’ve had have contributed to who I am, but they aren’t a huge part of my identity.
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2 comments:
I like this because people are more than just the career path they've chosen (or left behind). Yet, so many people identify themselves this way. I like the idea of giving people more think about than just their jobs.
Funny - just a few minutes before I read your comment, I was wondering what I'd tell somebody if they asked "what my deal" is. I'm a mom, but how is Kimberly Mom different from a Natalie Mom or Nancy Mom?
The first ideas that came to mind were things I've been doing lately: growing tomatoes and lettuce in pots outside my apartment, trying a really tasty sorbet recipe last night, wishing I had more time to read. And cook.
All of that describes what I'm doing (or wish I was doing), but I'm not sure how much it reveals about who and what I am. I'll have to think about that . . .
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