You Don't Have To Read This

As I was reading Elder Christofferson's recent conference talk on Moral Discipline, it occurred to me that we often say that we "have" to do things, when the reality is that we choose to do them because we want the benefits or are unwilling to accept the alternatives.

I don't HAVE to put gas my car (no one is standing there forcing my hand to swipe my credit card), but I do it because I want to quickly and easily transport my family. I don't HAVE to get out of bed when my kids wake up, but I do it because I want them to be safe, fed, and happy. I don't HAVE to read the scriptures, but I do it because I need the strength and direction they offer. You get the idea.

I suppose this is all rather obvious, but I mention it because I find that my feelings toward an activity improve when I think about the positive reasons I CHOOSE to do it rather than the sense of obligation that I "have" to do it.

A Basket of Water

I attended a conference in my parents' stake yesterday, and one of the speakers shared a story I really related to:

One day a young boy asked his grandfather what good it did to read the scriptures, since he didn't understand them very well and usually forgot what he'd read shortly after he closed the book. The grandfather responded by asking the boy to take his dirty coal basket down to the river and bring back a basket of water.

The boy tried to do as his grandfather asked, but all the water leaked out of the basket long before he reached the doorstep. The grandfather suggested he go faster the next time, but although the grandson ran as fast as he could, the basket was still empty before he made it back to the cabin. He exclaimed that the task was futile, and declared he would use the bucket instead, but the grandfather insisted that he wanted a basket of water, so the grandson went one more time, just to demonstrate the impossibility of his task.

When he returned with an empty basket yet again, the boy said, "You see--the water leaks out of this basket every time!" The grandfather replied, "Yes, but do you notice anything different about the basket now?" The boy glanced down, and saw that the filthy coal basket had been washed clean. "Scripture study works the same way," said his grandfather. "We may not retain everything we read, but the act of studying cleans us from the inside out."
________

I try to remember and apply what I study each day, but most of the time I feel like my mind is a leaky basket rather than a watertight bucket. The same is true of temple worship--I've learned many beautiful truths there, but there is still so much more that I don't fully understand. Still, I find that the act of studying scriptures and worshiping in the temple brings me peace and recalibrates my moral compass. Bit by bit it makes me a better person. Thank Heaven for that.

Danged If You Do . . .

Humans like to think we are rational creatures, but most of the time we really aren't. For example, when I stopped blogging a few months ago, I pined for that opportunity to share my thoughts and participate in the worldwide conversation. I thought of countless things I wanted to write, and it seemed cruel to deprive myself of the opportunity to share them.

Now I'm back, and I can't think of a dang thing to write.

Godspeed, Katydid

This afternoon we saw a katydid outside our apartment, and decided to take a closer look at it. Its delicate movements reminded me what a miracle the natural world is.

Unfortunately, this particular miracle made the mistake of hopping onto Joy's pant leg. It startled her, and when she jumped the katydid fell to the ground where Joy accidentally stepped squarely down on it.

I felt terrible that our clumsy curiosity had made this creature suffer and ended its life, but I took some comfort in the knowledge that there is life after this one. I'm grateful to know that we only ended the katydid's mortal life, not its existence, and that it is probably happier where it is now. That's not to say we should go wantonly destroying things to send them to a better place, but it is good to know that as we make our imperfect way through life, our little mistakes don't cause too much sorrow in the long run.

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." (Psalm 30:5)

Overload

This is why I have no interest in Twitter. It's also one of the reasons I avoid Facebook.

Oh Yeah

We often speak of "Ah ha!" moments--big epiphanies that open our eyes and motivate us to make sweeping changes in our lives.

Instead of having the occasional "Ah ha!" I seem to have lots of "Oh yeah" moments. As in oh yeah, building relationships with my kids matters a lot more than checking things off my to-do list. Oh yeah, if I want my sweetheart to be cheerful and thoughtful, he'd probably appreciate the same from me. Oh yeah, if I don't savor childhood moments now they'll soon be gone and I'll miss them.

I find that I offer a lot of prayers these days thanking God for patiently, perpetually reminding me what matters most. Cuz it's so easy to forget.

Favorite Things

As of this week, my blog has received over ten thousand views since its inception three years ago. While I know there are many blogs that receive that many views in a single day, it's still touching (and a little humbling) to think a few people care enough about what I think to drop by here that many times.

I considered writing something profound for this momentous occasion, but I decided to follow my friend Liesl's lead and do something fun instead. So with out further ado, I give you a list of ten of my favorite things:

The Gospel
Every good thing in my life--present, future, and eternal--stems from Jesus Christ and His teachings. His Gospel is a constant source of hope, perspective, strength, and inspiration to me.

My Family
My husband, kids, and extended family bring such joy to my life (no pun intended).

Books
I love learning, and I love good stories. My all-time favorite book is Garlic and Sapphires.

Cookbooks
Yes, they deserve their own category. I love cooking and trying new recipes, so every page of a cookbook is a potential new adventure. My favorite cookbook is probably How to Be a Domestic Goddess, not because I actually use it that much, but because the photos are luscious and it always inspires. As for which collection of recipes I use the most (aside from my own cookbook), I love trying things in the Taste of Home magazines I subscribe to.

Kitchen Gadgets
Something about kitchen stuff just makes me happy. I'm particularly fond of my citrus zester,* probably because it makes me feel like I'm some sort of haute cuisine diva (and sometimes I am, but usually not).

Public Radio
My local public radio station is brain food for me. I rarely turn it on at home (cuz I'd get nothing done), but I nearly always listen to it when I'm in the car. I like the fact that they strive for balanced, in-depth news coverage, and I enjoy the segments on books, current happenings, global culture, you name it.

Blogs
I love different blogs for different reasons. Some are a great way to keep in touch with family and friends. Others provide recipes or entertainment (or both). Still others offer inspiration when I'm having a rough time and need a smile.

Walks
I'm so grateful to live in So Cal, where even in the dead of winter I can take the kids on a walk for some fresh air. It rejuvenates the soul, and is the best cure I've found for cabin fever.

Gardens
I'm a compulsive gardener. Not necessarily a skilled one, mind you, but I am persistent. Since I'm currently an apartment dweller my garden presently consists of lots of herbs and greens in pots. When I think of my future dream house, I don't dwell much on the interior; I tend to think most about the yard (and the kitchen--duh). In the meantime, I garden vicariously through other people.

And last but not least . . .

Foaming Hand Soap
I'm ridiculously fond of BBW's Gentle Foaming Hand Soaps. It's hard to say exactly why. I guess the kid in me loves that they make bubbles and smell good. The OCD adult in me is kind of picky about fragrances, though, especially since I have to find one that my husband won't mind exuding each time he emerges from the bathroom. I wouldn't mind smelling like wild honeysuckle, but it's hard to imagine Phillip splashing that fragrance on before heading to school. I like Coconut Lime Verbena, and I think Phillip does, too (if he hated it, he would have said as much by now); Kitchen Lemon is a good choice, as well.

Cheers!

__________________________________
*Note: I don't actually own the zester I linked to; I couldn't find a picture of mine.

Needle in a Genetic Haystack

My friend Caitlyn has a daughter with disabilities, and no doctor has been able to figure out what's causing them. Caitlyn recently posted about another parent in a similar situation, a geneticist named Hugh Rienhoff who copes with the frustration of unanswered questions in a unique way: he's spent years combing through his daughter's DNA sequence one nucleotide at a time, looking for variants that might be responsible for her condition.

I followed Caitlyn's link to a recent Wired article on Rienhoff. It notes that many of his colleagues and friends call the project a fool's errand, and he himself admits that there is little chance he will ever find the offending gene(s), let alone be able to use that information to help his daughter. However, he says that's not really that point. He’s sifting through that huge mountain of data because it feels better to do something potentially helpful than to sit on the sidelines helplessly wondering and worrying. The author notes that “to Rienhoff, being the father who never relents is itself a noble goal. ‘In the end,’ he says, ‘this is simply about the extra ways a daddy can love his little girl.’”

While I've never faced any challenge as grave as Caitlyn's or Rienhoff's, the latter's quest really resonated with me. The most staggering problems of my life have been the ones I had no clue how to solve. It's easy to despair when you feel powerless. On the other hand, once I hit upon something--anything--I could do to improve my situation, hope rekindled. Taking action, even in a small way, lifted my spirits and made me feel like I was steering my ship, not being keelhauled under it. I'm sure that effect is compounded when the trial involves your children.

Burning Twice

The first thing that burned today was me. At least, it felt that way. A friend invited me to attend a Bikram Yoga class, which involves 26 strenuous poses in a room heated to 110 degrees with a few humidifiers running. I won't deny that I feel great now and my posture is much improved, but it was the most grueling experience in my recent memory. The kicker is that when you pay for your first class you get a second one free. I'm still debating whether I want to accept that offer.

The second thing that burned today was the maple pecan topping of the pumpkin pie I made this afternoon. Part of the topping sloshed onto the baking sheet when I put the pie in the oven, and our home still smells like burnt sugar.