I listen to Dr. Laura sometimes when I'm in the car. She reminds me how much I love my husband and daughter, and her callers remind me that all of my problems are relatively tiny. OK, so my daughter woke up at 4:30am last night. At least I have a loving husband, a family that likes each other, and in-laws I get along well with. If you've got that and a good relationship with the Lord, you can face everything else. But I digress . . .
I was listening to Dr. Laura on my way to an appointment today, and she read an interesting email from a listener. Apparently, two women called yesterday with the same concern: they worried they were losing their identity as they spent all day caring for their children. The emailer--a dad whose wife recently left him--responded that as he tries to fill the roles of both breadwinner and nurturer he is definitely losing himself, and loving it. He wishes he had even a few more minutes each day to spend with his kids.
In some ways, I can empathize with the two women. Since my baby arrived nearly three months ago, it has been a huge adjustment to suddenly have my schedule (if you can call it that) be at the mercy of another person's needs and whims. Even something as simple as running to the store for some eggs must be carefully planned and requires triple the baggage. I struggle to accomplish even the things I NEED to do, much less those I want to. If my identity was represented by a career, a hobby, or even a clean house, I would definitely feel I was losing it.
On the other hand, nothing melts my heart like seeing Joy smile at me when I get her up from a nap. I'm her hero. What an incredible privilege. What's more, I'm intensely curious to get to know her better, and see what she'll be like as she grows up. It'll be an adventure, and I wouldn't miss it.
As for the identity issue, the things I do may have changed, but the way I do them has not. My personality infuses everything I do. For better or worse, I'll be raising Joy and her future siblings Kimberly-style.
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4 comments:
Bravo! And doing things Kimberly-style is definitely one of the best ways to do something.
I applaud you! :^)
Good thing--it's the only way I know. :)
People idendtify themselves too much with their careers. And since being a mom isn't generally considered a career, I can see the feeling of losing one's identity. You don't have that constant feedback from bosses and coworkers to evaluate yourself by. You don't have a paycheck or raises to measure the value of your work. But that's a shoddy way to look at things, if you ask me.
Like you say, we are who we are and we take that with us to whatever job we're doing.
Raising a baby is a lot of work, but it's so much more fun than any job I've had. I'll take Joy's smiles and cooing conversations over a staff meeting any day.
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