Motherhood is an interesting tug of war for me. Every time Joy wakes up early, or goes down late, or decides she's DONE munching Cheerios when I'm two (looooong) minutes from getting dinner in the oven, I find myself thinking how much simpler and more productive my life would be without this toddling element of chaos. I could make appointments without worrying about a sudden change in Joy's nap schedule. I could make plans based on a consistent, 24 hour day rather than an widely variable 2-4 hour day.
And yet, if I didn't have that element of chaos, if I wasn't a mom or if someone else tended my baby while I worked most of the week, I would miss so much. Productivity is a poor substitute for baby giggles and watching Joy proudly grin as she demonstrates for the umpteenth time that she has learned to clap. I don't think a cleaner house or a bigger lead in the rat race could be more satisfying than sitting at the park watching my daughter pass fistfuls of sand in and out of a bucket as if it were the most fascinating activity on Earth. To a toddler, it probably is. And for a few golden minutes, it's captivating to a mom, too.
What's more, at the end of this life and beyond, I won't care whether I dusted the shelves or ever got around to reading all the books on them, but I'll care enormously about my family and what kind of relationship I've formed with them. Frankly, life and eternity would seem sterile and empty without them.
I hope some day I will finally get it through my head that the busy things that tend to clutter my days are not the most important things in life and eternity.
One year ago . . . A Little-Known Benefit of Exercise
6 comments:
Excellent thoughts. It's somewhat akin to those moments when I have to remind myself to thank my Father in Heaven for my burdens, my distractions, my endless list of to-do things. Because in the end, those are precisely my blessings.
Yeah - too often I want growth and blessings without the challenges and sacrifice that actually yield them.
Kind of like wanting rhubarb without all that messy rain and dirt. :)
Beautiful post and excellent commnent Desmama.
Once we got child number three, I began to feel like every day was kid to kid to kid to kid crisis and that was it. I've got a little more breathing room now. When I'm frustrated I remind myself that if I didn't have them, I'd be working full time and trying to manage keeping a clean house with working taking up most of my time. I remind myself that the kids are the REASON I am home. They really are supposed to be a full-time job. That is the point.
Ditto.
Ditto.
Ditto.
I may not enjoy reading "Corduroy" for the 500th time. But, listening to Hannah as she is beginning to be able to read on her own? Wow.And Adam's huge grin when I say yes, i'll read it AGAIN. Melts me. Sure there are, and will always be, thousands ofthings that need to be done. And thousands of things that i want to get done. And more things that will get me acclaim and prestige.
But, none of that compares with a squeeze and a kiss on the cheek, and happy kids - who love to learn, and experience the amazing world around them. I wouldn't give up being a mom for anything.
There may be tons of better people and parents out there. But, I know, that for my children, there is NO ONE better for them than me. They were given to TJ and I, and we do the best we can.And I may pass on with only my little family mourning my loss - but that is enough. They are enough.
I just run my house like a daycare. I studied child developement and I was a daycare and pre-school teacher for 4 years.
And after school programs. If someone comes over and I have blocks, dolls, balls,books and dust on the furniturej. Well, my janitor or maid has not come today yet, he or she will be here after 6pm (me). This is our learning facility, come in and make yourself comfortable. When I go to other family homes and see that the mother stays home and the house is spotless, I feel so sorry for the kids. hahahah. We are not here to do show and tell, and become stars of this earth. We are learning fun centers becoming Kings and Queens to run our universes after this life. Every kid that has visited our home from Christopher, Lauren, Sofia and Cousins, have not wanted to leave and they always want to come over. If you would like any cute suggestions let me know.
amen!! i wouldn't have it any other way, i love being a mom (even when i am being barfed on, i'd much rather be the one comforting my son, than some other random person!!)
and ditto to all the comments!
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