Della's Glass is More than Half Full

There is truly power in perspective.

My friend Caitlin Calder has a baby daughter named Della who is about Joy's age. Della has struggled with some serious health problems. The doctors still aren't quite sure what her ailment is, but they know it's serious. At best, it is a metabolic disorder than could cause physical and mental handicaps; at worst it is a degenerative disease. As I read this on the Calder blog today, I felt deeply saddened. I found myself, like Caitlin, "mourning the loss of the future they had hoped for their child."

The last paragraph of her post left me with a different perspective, though. Caitlin wrote about Della's calm, loving spirit. How affectionate she is. How lucky they are to have her in their lives. By the time I finished reading, I was left not with a sense of tragedy, but of awe and gratitude that the Calders have been blessed with a daughter like Della.

Supporting Our Troops Against Their Will?

I heard 5 or 6 differing opinions on the Iraq War today - some saying we're crazy to stay, others saying we'd be crazy to leave now, still others saying we'd be crazy to leave in the next decade. Personally, I think if we can't help Iraq we should leave, but if we can we owe it to the Iraqis to help them get their country back on its feet, even if that means considerable sacrifice for us. It's not their fault we plunged their country into chaos.

Trouble is, it's hard to tell whether there is any chance of success in Iraq. There are as many opinions as there are experts, and many of those with the most expertise admit they just don't know if we can win. I certainly don't claim to know, either, but I do think that any progress would be slow and hard, and I don't think our country has the patience for that. I know most of Congress doesn't.

That last point is actually what prompted me to write this post. I find it ironic that many politicians insist they want to get our troops out of unnecessary danger, and yet the soldiers I know and most of the ones I've heard from on the radio want the military to stay in Iraq and try to finish what they started. Granted, I haven't taken a survey of every soldier in Iraq to find out if the majority feel that way, but if they do, is it paradoxical that Congress wants to withdraw them in the name of supporting our troops? If the legislators' main concern is for our troops' lives, but soldiers themselves want to risk their lives for this mission, should we let them do so even if we worry their sacrifice may be in vain?

The Next Fad Diet

I've been assigned to work with the young women in my congregation, specifically the 12- and 13-year-olds. Here's a fun snippet of conversation I overheard last night:

YW #1: I love custard-filled donuts. I could live on those things.

YW #2: No one could live on JUST donuts.

YW #1: Well, I'd have milk, too.

Hey, I could live on that diet--for about 2 days. But boy, that'd be a great couple of days.

Losing Yourself

In my last post, I said that if I had to name a single blog for my whole character, I would probably have chosen a different name. In response to that last statement, Siobhan asked what I would have chosen instead. That really got me thinking.

My faith and my role as a mother are the factors that most profoundly influence everything I do and am, so for a short username I would probably just choose “ldsmama” or “mormonmama.” For a blog name, though, I would want to be more specific. There are millions of Mormon mothers out there, and I wanted to add a word that could impart a little Kimberly flavor to my definition. After considering several options, I settled on part of my actual blog name. I’d probably call my hypothetical complete blog Mormon Mama Bluestocking. References to my faith, my current role in life, and my tendency to be a bookish academic would yield a pretty fair sketch of my character.

I was all set to post about this when I noticed another comment on my original post. Roxy wrote that she is glad I have a blog for non-family thoughts because she knows people who focus entirely on their family and lose their identity. She cites the example of her mom who lives only to serve her kids and doesn’t take care of herself. Ironically, a few hours before I read that comment, I was thinking about mothers I admire who throw themselves 100 percent into raising their children. The women I have in mind don’t seem to lack personality or a sense of identity. Rather, they are some of the most vibrant people I know.

So what makes the difference? Why is it that when people throw themselves into any profession—be it motherhood, law, teaching—some shine while others are just consumed by what they do? I think the difference lies in loving what you do, and remembering that you have something unique to contribute to it. What’s more, as a mother you can’t effectively teach your children to develop talents, take care of themselves, and love life unless you do so yourself.

What's in a Name?

My friend Beth made and interesting observation on her blog yesterday. When she worked at a scrapbooking company, she noticed that many visitors to their online forum chose family-related usernames like "billysmommy" and "lovemyhubby." I notice people define themselves the same way on a baby website I frequent (e.g. momoftwo, billysmom, etc.). Maybe it's because baby sites (like scrapbook sites) get us thinking about family. In the case of mothers, though, I think the biggest reason they choose parenting-related names is that we tend to define who we are by what we do.

Before I became a mom, I might have defined myself by a job or hobby, but now that I'm home with Baby the majority of my time, energy, and thought are devoted to her. I don't go to work, I rarely have time to read, and the only hobby I still find time for is cooking (gotta do it anyway, so might as well do it well). So, in keeping with the "I am what I do" mentality, when Beth asked what her readers would choose for a non-name username, the first things I thought of were mother-related. "Joysmama," or perhaps "ldsmama".

Ironically (for the sake of this discussion, anyway), when I created my blog I chose a name totally unrelated to motherhood. I suppose that was because we already had a family (translation: "baby") blog, and I wanted mine to be just for my random musings and things that sparked my interest. Consequently, I chose a name that encapsulated that aspect of me. If I had to pick a name for my whole package, though, it might have been something different.

What would you choose?

Quote of the Day - "Good Judgement"

"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment." - Barry LePatner

Yup - that's my life in a nutshell. :)

The Pursuit of Happiness

Sorry I haven't posted in a while - we've been out of town at a family reunion for the past week, and internet reception was hard to come by in Georgia's backcountry. Enough excuses - on to the post.

I've noticed that I write a lot about being happy and positive these days. It's not because I'm particularly good at being those things; rather, I wish I were better. I suppose that deep down I believe if I study and ponder cheerfulness enough, it will come easier to me. When I hang around positive, friendly people I find those virtues rub off on me a bit, so maybe positive thoughts will have the same effect. Or perhaps through continual research I'll discover the key that unlocks wells of good cheer within us.

Yeah - I don't think it will be that simple, either. Nevertheless, I can't resist trying. As previously stated, I like positive people and the effect they have on me, and I'd like to be that kind of blessing to others, especially my family. My baby daughter smiles so much, and I want to encourage her to keep doing it. Of course, the best way to teach is by example . . .