My faith and my role as a mother are the factors that most profoundly influence everything I do and am, so for a short username I would probably just choose “ldsmama” or “mormonmama.” For a blog name, though, I would want to be more specific. There are millions of Mormon mothers out there, and I wanted to add a word that could impart a little Kimberly flavor to my definition. After considering several options, I settled on part of my actual blog name. I’d probably call my hypothetical complete blog Mormon Mama Bluestocking. References to my faith, my current role in life, and my tendency to be a bookish academic would yield a pretty fair sketch of my character.
I was all set to post about this when I noticed another comment on my original post. Roxy wrote that she is glad I have a blog for non-family thoughts because she knows people who focus entirely on their family and lose their identity. She cites the example of her mom who lives only to serve her kids and doesn’t take care of herself. Ironically, a few hours before I read that comment, I was thinking about mothers I admire who throw themselves 100 percent into raising their children. The women I have in mind don’t seem to lack personality or a sense of identity. Rather, they are some of the most vibrant people I know.
So what makes the difference? Why is it that when people throw themselves into any profession—be it motherhood, law, teaching—some shine while others are just consumed by what they do? I think the difference lies in loving what you do, and remembering that you have something unique to contribute to it. What’s more, as a mother you can’t effectively teach your children to develop talents, take care of themselves, and love life unless you do so yourself.
2 comments:
Interesting post. I actually wandered onto your blog because of its name.
My mother started a chapter of the Utah Daughters of the Pioneers several years ago and her group voted on "Camp Bluestocking" as their name, being a group of rather bookish women.
It is a term I have always liked and seldom heard used. We do define ourselves by what we do--you can see from my name that I gravitated to the same idea without giving it much thought.
This is something writers frequently come up against when creating characters: is character independent of action and who we are is somehow not the same as what we do, or is our whole self defined by our actions? Interesting question, since most of us from time to time do things that are "out" of character.
I actually learned the term "bluestocking" from a book catalogue years ago, and I've been fond of it ever since.
Regarding your question about identity, I think the answer depends on what you mean by "what we do." If you mean our occupation, I think that forms a large portion of our identity, but not our character. If you suddenly stopped being a teacher, your activities would change but your character probably wouldn't.
On the other hand, if you mean our everyday decisions, I think they both reflect and impact our character. Decisions about how to interact with God, others, self, work, etc., both reflect our existing character and form habits that will define it in the future.
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