I hit the wall today, figuratively speaking. It seems to happen about once a week - I think about all the things I need to do, want to do, really ought to do, ad infinitum, and it all just weighs me down like ten tons of dust bunnies and unread books. Then I cry for a few minutes, my dear husband gives supportive hugs and asks how he can help (bless his heart - as if he isn't busy enough already), then I wipe my eyes and get back to work. If I'm having a particularly rough day, we go out for dinner (you know I'm in bad shape if I don't feel like cooking).
Fortunately these minor breakdowns never last long, but the fact that they occur on such a regular basis just doesn't seem like a good thing to me. I think the best solution would be to plan my time better, so I have a clear idea what I need to do and when I'm going to do it. When I don't write my to-do list down I always imagine it's five times longer than it really is, and I live in constant fear of forgetting something--two sources of stress that could easily be avoided. Plus, planning would allow me to prioritize, so I would at least get the most crucial things done.
Of course, this is just a theory I'm still testing. If you have any thoughts, advice, jokes to lift my spirits, etc., they would be most welcome.
5 comments:
I am also a list-maker for the grocery store, household chores, to-do tasks and errands. When we are planning to go out of town, the list of things to pack and do before the trip seems to be infinitely long, and I can lose sleep over it until I actually sit down and start writing it out. Arthur teases me that I need a list detailing all the lists that I need to make. In the past, I have done the "Must Do, Should Do, Would like to Do" lists, but I haven't stuck to them. Let me know if you find a good solution, though!
I have become very proficient in using the Franklin Planner. If I don't write it down, it doesn't happen! We all have days (and sometimes weeks) where we feel like we are just barely keeping all our balls in the air. Caring for a child AND yourself is an all consuming, sometimes overwhelming, and often thankless job. Glad to hear that there are others who have "breakdowns" too.
PS Chad's uncle it Kevin Monson and he wanted me to tell "Hermana Sorenson" hello. So hola!
I remember when I was a kid lying in my bed and going over all the things I was going to do that day. I even had lists that I made up and tried to complete. The problem was that every time I did this I'd end up going to bed grumpy or just have an angry frustrating day because it didn't go as planed. I've learned just to keep mental notes of what should get done and try to prioritize which ones get down first and ones that are more important. Then I just live my day. I don't expect much and am glad when things are accomplished. But I've lowered my stress level I think by not worrying about things that I want to do that would have been on my list that I didn't get done. That would be like my sewing and books I'd like to read or even going through those stacks of papers we all have. Another example of this is my sister who complains to me all the time about how her husband doesn't help out with chores. I grew up with a father that never helped either and just have expected that the man those capable doesn't really do much, but work. However if he does manage to clean something what a bonus to my dad that is! Plus most the time when men help then tend to make more of a mess and a project out of the whole thing then actually clean. I guess what I'm trying to say is which might not sound right to you, but lowering your expectations can lower your stress level as well. I do forget things now and then. But I'm not angry all the time and I prefer the one over the other.
I have to put my vote in for list making. I think my psyche works just opposite of seethaler's. If I keep only a mental list, I will ALWAYS get stressed out. We're talking Bonk city, every single day. In contrast, when I do sit down and make a list, the mere making of it puts me in a go-get'em mood, and I'm ready to work. Then as I cross things off my list, I feel a sense of accomplishment and somehow this elevates my feeling of self-worth immediately. Even if my daily list is not completed by the end of the day, I feel better and sleep better just being able to visualize how much smaller it is and that I've actually put a dent in it. When I keep it in my head, it always seems endless.
I find I'm using a little bit of all of these comments:
- I write appointments in my planner. As Caitlin says, if I don't write it, it doesn't happen.
- As for the every day things, making a list motivates me and lowers my stress level, as Carrie and Kerri said.
- Lastly, the Seethaler factor: I do as much as I can, and don't stress about the things I didn't get to.
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