Today's not-so-favorite moments included . . .
. . . Daniel pouring apple juice on a restaurant floor.
Today's favorite moments included . . .
. . . giving my husband a back rub. He had something weighing on his mind, and though I couldn't remove his burden completely, it was nice to at least do something to make him feel better.
. . . watching Joy play with Pink Grandma in her yard, and go fishing for magnetic trout and carp in Papa's pool.
. . . showing Joy the "popcorn" on Pink Grandma's apricot tree.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Temples and a Postscript
Today's favorite moments included . . .
. . . seeing my husband smile.
. . . a wonderful Relief Society lesson. The teacher asked what words or phrases come to mind when we think of the temple, then cited the scripture that our bodies are temples (1 Cor 6:19), and therefore many of those phrases apply to our bodies. One thought that particularly struck me is that temples throughout the world look very different, yet they all have a stately beauty because of what they represent. Similarly, people look very different, yet we are all children of God made in His image, and therefore have something of divine majesty about us.
And another thing . . .
. . . this morning a reader emailed me a comment about yesterday's (Gay) Mormon Guy post. They expressed concern that perhaps it isn't such an admirable thing when a man dates and desires to marry a girl when he feels no attraction for her. That concern made me realize I should have been more clear in my summary of (G)MG's blog.
The blogger I mentioned yesterday sincerely yearns for a happy, loving, heterosexual marriage and family. He realizes it would be doctrinally and morally wrong to marry unless he is seriously attracted to a woman, and she is aware of his struggle and chooses to marry him in spite of it. He also realizes it would take a literal miracle for him to find such a woman AND be attracted to her, but he believes that such miracles can and do happen, and that part of exercising his faith and hope is to date in search of such a relationship.
He knows the chance of success is infinitesimal each time he asks a girl out, and he doesn't take that lightly. In fact, he goes out of his way to be gentle with girls' feelings when things don't work out. Frankly, I think he's much more conscious and careful of girls' feelings than many straight guys who are dating to find a mate. In both cases it never will work out until they find the right one, but some guys are much less considerate when they decide it's time to move on. (G)MG's deep consideration for others and the fact that he has the faith and will to keep trying against such long odds are two of the things I admire most about him.
. . . seeing my husband smile.
. . . a wonderful Relief Society lesson. The teacher asked what words or phrases come to mind when we think of the temple, then cited the scripture that our bodies are temples (1 Cor 6:19), and therefore many of those phrases apply to our bodies. One thought that particularly struck me is that temples throughout the world look very different, yet they all have a stately beauty because of what they represent. Similarly, people look very different, yet we are all children of God made in His image, and therefore have something of divine majesty about us.
And another thing . . .
. . . this morning a reader emailed me a comment about yesterday's (Gay) Mormon Guy post. They expressed concern that perhaps it isn't such an admirable thing when a man dates and desires to marry a girl when he feels no attraction for her. That concern made me realize I should have been more clear in my summary of (G)MG's blog.
The blogger I mentioned yesterday sincerely yearns for a happy, loving, heterosexual marriage and family. He realizes it would be doctrinally and morally wrong to marry unless he is seriously attracted to a woman, and she is aware of his struggle and chooses to marry him in spite of it. He also realizes it would take a literal miracle for him to find such a woman AND be attracted to her, but he believes that such miracles can and do happen, and that part of exercising his faith and hope is to date in search of such a relationship.
He knows the chance of success is infinitesimal each time he asks a girl out, and he doesn't take that lightly. In fact, he goes out of his way to be gentle with girls' feelings when things don't work out. Frankly, I think he's much more conscious and careful of girls' feelings than many straight guys who are dating to find a mate. In both cases it never will work out until they find the right one, but some guys are much less considerate when they decide it's time to move on. (G)MG's deep consideration for others and the fact that he has the faith and will to keep trying against such long odds are two of the things I admire most about him.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Burgers, Cards, and an Enthralling Blog
Today's favorite moments included . . .
. . . watching my family's eyes light up when I suggested we go to In-N-Out for dinner.
And another thing . . .
. . . this morning I attended a service activity where we made thank-you cards for families to give to the doctors and nurses who have treated their children (the cards will be donated to a group that assists families battling serious childhood illness). It was the most mentally challenging thing I have done in ages. I am not a crafty person, and though I often peeked over others' shoulders for inspiration it was a real struggle for me to come up with even simple designs that looked good. All in all it was fun, though, and we made over 100 cards. Hopefully they'll warm a few hearts.
. . . this evening I followed a favorite blog to another blog to yet another blog called (Gay) Mormon Guy. In his own words he says "I'm a stalwart member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm also attracted to men. Which means that life is extra rough." His blog is very honest and heartfelt, and I found it captivating.
For example, I assumed that a dedicated Mormon struggling with same-gender attraction would reluctantly resign themselves to a life of celibacy, but this writer dates often in the hope that he will ultimately fall truly in love with a woman and build a happy marriage and family with her. He is aware that it may never happen in this life, and that even if it does his temptations may still linger in the background for the rest of his life. As I read that last comment, it occurred to me that my situation is not so very different from his.
While I don't feel any same-gender attraction, I (like every other imperfect mortal) came into my marriage with temptations and faults that I constantly struggle to keep in the background for the sake of my relationship and ultimately my salvation. At my worst I'm selfish, proud, critical, and lazy--flaws which have destroyed far more lives and marriages than same-gender attraction ever has. Most of the time I keep those faults in the background, trying to feed the virtues of my character and starve the vices.
If I keep working at that and praying for God's help, I may one day vanquish those faults completely, but in the meantime I'm just working to nurture the best in me, one day at a time. Sometimes it comes easily. Other times it's very hard, but on the rare occasions when I consider what life would be like if I abandoned my faith or family to indulge my self-centered desires, I know in my heart that (paradoxically) living just for me wouldn't truly make me happier.
Incidentally, in response to Karl Marx, religion is not "the opiate of the masses." When seen for what it truly is--a guide to becoming more like God, experiencing true joy, and achieving your potential as His child--it is the greatest motivator for good the world has ever known.
. . . watching my family's eyes light up when I suggested we go to In-N-Out for dinner.
And another thing . . .
. . . this morning I attended a service activity where we made thank-you cards for families to give to the doctors and nurses who have treated their children (the cards will be donated to a group that assists families battling serious childhood illness). It was the most mentally challenging thing I have done in ages. I am not a crafty person, and though I often peeked over others' shoulders for inspiration it was a real struggle for me to come up with even simple designs that looked good. All in all it was fun, though, and we made over 100 cards. Hopefully they'll warm a few hearts.
. . . this evening I followed a favorite blog to another blog to yet another blog called (Gay) Mormon Guy. In his own words he says "I'm a stalwart member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm also attracted to men. Which means that life is extra rough." His blog is very honest and heartfelt, and I found it captivating.
For example, I assumed that a dedicated Mormon struggling with same-gender attraction would reluctantly resign themselves to a life of celibacy, but this writer dates often in the hope that he will ultimately fall truly in love with a woman and build a happy marriage and family with her. He is aware that it may never happen in this life, and that even if it does his temptations may still linger in the background for the rest of his life. As I read that last comment, it occurred to me that my situation is not so very different from his.
While I don't feel any same-gender attraction, I (like every other imperfect mortal) came into my marriage with temptations and faults that I constantly struggle to keep in the background for the sake of my relationship and ultimately my salvation. At my worst I'm selfish, proud, critical, and lazy--flaws which have destroyed far more lives and marriages than same-gender attraction ever has. Most of the time I keep those faults in the background, trying to feed the virtues of my character and starve the vices.
If I keep working at that and praying for God's help, I may one day vanquish those faults completely, but in the meantime I'm just working to nurture the best in me, one day at a time. Sometimes it comes easily. Other times it's very hard, but on the rare occasions when I consider what life would be like if I abandoned my faith or family to indulge my self-centered desires, I know in my heart that (paradoxically) living just for me wouldn't truly make me happier.
Incidentally, in response to Karl Marx, religion is not "the opiate of the masses." When seen for what it truly is--a guide to becoming more like God, experiencing true joy, and achieving your potential as His child--it is the greatest motivator for good the world has ever known.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
A Family Reunion, Of Sorts
Today's favorite moments included . . .
. . . attending Phillip's grandma's funeral. It might seem odd to call that a favorite experience, but I really appreciated the chance to learn about a relative I never had a chance to know (she had Alzheimer's during most of our marriage), and to get to know the extended Hendrickson family better.
. . . spending so much one-on-one time with my sweetheart today. Many thanks to our friends who tended our kids while we were attending all the family events.
. . . watching Uncle Mark wink at Aunt Connie and whisper that he loves her.
. . . finally meeting Cousin Risa. Until today, we only really knew each other through blogs. When she choked up leading the closing hymn, it made me cry, too.
. . . meeting Great-Aunt Janine, who I had never even heard of before today. She is intelligent, well-read, and wonderfully friendly. If she was in my ward I think I'd sit by her every chance I got.
. . . attending Phillip's grandma's funeral. It might seem odd to call that a favorite experience, but I really appreciated the chance to learn about a relative I never had a chance to know (she had Alzheimer's during most of our marriage), and to get to know the extended Hendrickson family better.
. . . spending so much one-on-one time with my sweetheart today. Many thanks to our friends who tended our kids while we were attending all the family events.
. . . watching Uncle Mark wink at Aunt Connie and whisper that he loves her.
. . . finally meeting Cousin Risa. Until today, we only really knew each other through blogs. When she choked up leading the closing hymn, it made me cry, too.
. . . meeting Great-Aunt Janine, who I had never even heard of before today. She is intelligent, well-read, and wonderfully friendly. If she was in my ward I think I'd sit by her every chance I got.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Softball, Bongos, and Girly Shoes
Today's not-so-favorite moments included . . .
. . . my kids rejecting the pizzas I cooked for dinner, both of which they LIKED when they sampled them at Trader Joe's. Apparently when you remove the mystique of the TJ's sample booth, the pizzas were just another weird thing mama had cooked. They devoured the strawberries, though, so I guess I should be grateful that my kids prefer healthy produce over unhealthy, processed food.
Today's favorite moments included . . .
. . . watching Joy randomly decide to warm up with a little girl softball team at the park today. Her catching was spotty and her aim virtually nonexistent, but most of the actual team were in the same boat. They all seemed to have a good time, though. :)
. . . seeing a guy with dreadlocks playing bongos at the farmers' market. The cool thing was that he was singing hip arrangements of children’s songs, and on blankets spread in front of him were several small chairs and lots of instruments—little drums, tambourines, homemade shakers, and even an old xylophone. Any kids who wanted to could play along while he drummed and sang. Joy dove right in, playing virtually every instrument he had, and even beating his bongo a few times. It was fun to watch her get so into it.
And another thing . . .
. . . up until now I’ve always bought Joy play shoes from the boy section because they were more practical, and because the sparkly, pink, girly shoes bugged me. Today, though, as I watched her try on some masculine athletic shoes with her cute girl outfit, I grudgingly conceded that it was time to shop in the girl section.
I bypassed the cute-but-useless glittery ballet slippers and open sandals, attempting to find something both functional and palatable in the tennis shoe section. We tried on one pair that was so busy with hearts and butterflies that it made my head hurt; fortunately Joy said it didn’t feel very good on her foot. We eventually settled on a pair of white (for now) and pink shoes with sparkly metallic trim, whose requisite hearts at least had the decency to be subtle.
Phillip gaped at them in consternation when he came home tonight, but kept his opinions to himself. Joy, for her part, seems content with them, and I find I don't mind them so much because I saw so many outrageous alternatives at the store.
. . . my kids rejecting the pizzas I cooked for dinner, both of which they LIKED when they sampled them at Trader Joe's. Apparently when you remove the mystique of the TJ's sample booth, the pizzas were just another weird thing mama had cooked. They devoured the strawberries, though, so I guess I should be grateful that my kids prefer healthy produce over unhealthy, processed food.
Today's favorite moments included . . .
. . . watching Joy randomly decide to warm up with a little girl softball team at the park today. Her catching was spotty and her aim virtually nonexistent, but most of the actual team were in the same boat. They all seemed to have a good time, though. :)
. . . seeing a guy with dreadlocks playing bongos at the farmers' market. The cool thing was that he was singing hip arrangements of children’s songs, and on blankets spread in front of him were several small chairs and lots of instruments—little drums, tambourines, homemade shakers, and even an old xylophone. Any kids who wanted to could play along while he drummed and sang. Joy dove right in, playing virtually every instrument he had, and even beating his bongo a few times. It was fun to watch her get so into it.
And another thing . . .
. . . up until now I’ve always bought Joy play shoes from the boy section because they were more practical, and because the sparkly, pink, girly shoes bugged me. Today, though, as I watched her try on some masculine athletic shoes with her cute girl outfit, I grudgingly conceded that it was time to shop in the girl section.
I bypassed the cute-but-useless glittery ballet slippers and open sandals, attempting to find something both functional and palatable in the tennis shoe section. We tried on one pair that was so busy with hearts and butterflies that it made my head hurt; fortunately Joy said it didn’t feel very good on her foot. We eventually settled on a pair of white (for now) and pink shoes with sparkly metallic trim, whose requisite hearts at least had the decency to be subtle.
Phillip gaped at them in consternation when he came home tonight, but kept his opinions to himself. Joy, for her part, seems content with them, and I find I don't mind them so much because I saw so many outrageous alternatives at the store.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Funky Nibbles and Friendly Quibbles
Today's not-so-favorite moments included . . .
. . . the frustration of pregnant taste buds. That's right, my illness is long gone but food still tastes kinda weird to me. When you enjoy food and cooking as much as I do, this little side effect officially qualifies as a major bummer.
Today's favorite moments included . . .
. . . poking around a couple cooking websites, which is kind of ironic since it's almost pointless to try new recipes when I can't tell whether they're any good for the next six months.
. . . hearing my kids giggle as they had a dance party on the big bed.
. . . writing this post's title.
And another thing . . .
. . . I once heard about a study which found that siblings who quarreled wouldn't necessarily have a bad relationship when they were adults. The researcher explained that if kids never disagree it's probably because they don't spend much time together, so they may not be very close later on in life. On the other hand, kids who quarrel regularly often play together regularly, too. During the course of playtime a disagreement arises, things get a little heated, then the storm passes and play resumes. Obviously you want to encourage kindness and avoid constant or extreme fighting (my friend's older sister tormented her growing up, and their relationship is still strained decades later), but if quarrels are balanced by plenty of happy play time you shouldn't have much to worry about.
I've thought about that study a lot lately. Daniel is getting old enough to play with Joy, and they often have fun together, but she has also discovered countless ways to bug him. Her latest favorite is to kiss his cheek. He doesn't mind the first kiss, but the second, third, and even tenth one really gets on his nerves. They get on mine, too, since I know she just does it to bother him. My latest parental balancing act involves weighing how much I should proactively encourage friendly choices and discourage unfair or annoying ones, and how much I should just let my kids work things out on their own. I want to lend what guidance I can, but they seem to have the best time together when I'm on the sidelines and they're making their own fun.
. . . the frustration of pregnant taste buds. That's right, my illness is long gone but food still tastes kinda weird to me. When you enjoy food and cooking as much as I do, this little side effect officially qualifies as a major bummer.
Today's favorite moments included . . .
. . . poking around a couple cooking websites, which is kind of ironic since it's almost pointless to try new recipes when I can't tell whether they're any good for the next six months.
. . . hearing my kids giggle as they had a dance party on the big bed.
. . . writing this post's title.
And another thing . . .
. . . I once heard about a study which found that siblings who quarreled wouldn't necessarily have a bad relationship when they were adults. The researcher explained that if kids never disagree it's probably because they don't spend much time together, so they may not be very close later on in life. On the other hand, kids who quarrel regularly often play together regularly, too. During the course of playtime a disagreement arises, things get a little heated, then the storm passes and play resumes. Obviously you want to encourage kindness and avoid constant or extreme fighting (my friend's older sister tormented her growing up, and their relationship is still strained decades later), but if quarrels are balanced by plenty of happy play time you shouldn't have much to worry about.
I've thought about that study a lot lately. Daniel is getting old enough to play with Joy, and they often have fun together, but she has also discovered countless ways to bug him. Her latest favorite is to kiss his cheek. He doesn't mind the first kiss, but the second, third, and even tenth one really gets on his nerves. They get on mine, too, since I know she just does it to bother him. My latest parental balancing act involves weighing how much I should proactively encourage friendly choices and discourage unfair or annoying ones, and how much I should just let my kids work things out on their own. I want to lend what guidance I can, but they seem to have the best time together when I'm on the sidelines and they're making their own fun.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Happy In A Borrowed Garden
Today's favorite moments included . . .
. . . several straight hours, actually. A friend had the kids over to play all morning, and I spent every free minute gardening. Another friend with a yard lets me use part of their garden plot, and today I finally planted potatoes and seeds for chard, carrots, onions, lettuce and peas. I often say I'm more tenacious than talented when it comes to gardening--some plants thrive while others struggle, and I don't know how I'll find time to keep ahead of the weeds, but for some reason I just can't resist. I love seeing the plants grow and change week to week, and it's fun to become more familiar with their shapes, habits, and quirks. Oh yeah, and it's fun to eat what I grow (at least when it turns out well--I have rotten luck with melons). Joy particularly likes eating home grown carrots.
. . . noticing a little nasturtium coming up by the garden fence, a child of one of the nasturtiums I sowed last year. I like nasturtiums--they remind me of my mother, because they remind her of her mother--and I love seeing the seedlings of last season's parent plants. I enjoy watching the cycle of life play out.
. . . seeing a red variety of Spanish Lavender in full, prolific bloom while the kids and I were out for a walk.
. . . finding my lost sock in our building's laundry room. I had really missed that sock.
. . . several straight hours, actually. A friend had the kids over to play all morning, and I spent every free minute gardening. Another friend with a yard lets me use part of their garden plot, and today I finally planted potatoes and seeds for chard, carrots, onions, lettuce and peas. I often say I'm more tenacious than talented when it comes to gardening--some plants thrive while others struggle, and I don't know how I'll find time to keep ahead of the weeds, but for some reason I just can't resist. I love seeing the plants grow and change week to week, and it's fun to become more familiar with their shapes, habits, and quirks. Oh yeah, and it's fun to eat what I grow (at least when it turns out well--I have rotten luck with melons). Joy particularly likes eating home grown carrots.
. . . noticing a little nasturtium coming up by the garden fence, a child of one of the nasturtiums I sowed last year. I like nasturtiums--they remind me of my mother, because they remind her of her mother--and I love seeing the seedlings of last season's parent plants. I enjoy watching the cycle of life play out.
. . . seeing a red variety of Spanish Lavender in full, prolific bloom while the kids and I were out for a walk.
. . . finding my lost sock in our building's laundry room. I had really missed that sock.
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