OPTIMIST: The glass is half full.
PESSIMIST: The glass is half empty.
REALIST: The glass is.
IDEALIST: The glass should be full.
FEMINIST: My glass seems less full than HIS glass.
ENVIRONMENTALIST: Save the water.
ANARCHIST: Break the glass!
CAPITALIST: Let's sell the glass.
CHEMIST: It's approximately 50% dihydrogen oxide, 40% nitrogen, and 10% oxygen.
*These quotes come from a shirt someone once gave my husband. Wish I could reproduce the cartoon faces that go with them - the environmentalist has really wild hair.