Joy has decided that she is done nursing. Last evening she started to latch on, then pulled away and looked at me as if she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. I encouraged her to eat, but she showed no further interest in what I had to offer. The same scenario repeated itself this morning, and frankly, she hasn’t been very interesting in nursing for most of this week. Apparently she has decided it is time to stop, and I feel it will be best to follow her lead.
I didn’t weep over the loss of our special, daily bonding time, as I’ve heard some mothers do, but this ending of an era did hit me harder than I expected it to. In the past, when I’ve contemplated the end of nursing, I’ve focused mainly on my increased freedom. Now that it’s actually happening, the idea foremost in my mind is that a sweet part of Joy’s babyhood is gone, never to return.
I suppose I should get used to this pattern. When babies first arrive they are totally dependent on us, and their parents are their whole world. Then slowly but steadily they learn and grow, becoming more and more self-reliant, needing their parents less and less. Of course, that’s as it should be, but that doesn’t make it easy. Tomorrow I’ll try to focus on the many adventures that lie ahead of us, but for today I’m indulging in the absurd wish that my sweet baby could stay a little bundle of Joy forever.
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6 comments:
I read once that parenting is the art of letting go. It's amazing how early this begins in a child's life.
I'd say that's a pretty accurate definition. :)
I wish they could stay babies for at least two years. Kids still depend on you just in different ways as they get older. It's cute also how when you have another child how the siblings go back to wanting the same kind of attention they got at that age.
My babies all get really hungry at about five months and no amount of nursing will allow me to catch up to them, especially when they are so distracted by other things. So I supplement and that just makes it worse. With this baby I pre-empted this wanting to eat every ninety minutes for a few minutes at a time by deciding to pump three times a day. He is totally on a bottle now, but about half of them are breastmilk. I too was disappointed, I was really committed to see the nursing thing through until a year with this guy. It seems incredible that just getting a baby fed can give so much stress.
I thought my life would get easier when I didn't have to nurse anymore. You'd think I'd have learned by now that life DOESN'T get easier. EVER. :) Now I have to figure out how to provide complete nutrition - when to feed, what to feed, how much . . .
I'm sure we'll figure things out soon and get into a fine routine . . . just in time for her to start getting picky. Sigh.
The details of parenthood are many and complicated, and occasionally stressful, but the smiles, cuddles, and playtime are worth it all.
letting go...yep.
but, not elimination...just change. That particular type of special type now gets to evolve into something different.
every "phase" of my kids lives are my favorite during. And I think..."this is wonderful...I don't want it to change!" And then, it does. Because life is change. But, the next phase becomes my favorite. Weird, but sweet.
And it seems the change always comes when I finally have a handle on the trials...when i've developed a rhythm and a smidgen of ability. Then the kids change the rules.
And who says being a parent isn't exciting or challenging?
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