My dear husband gave me a fabulous gift today. He stayed home from school* and took care of Baby all day while I finally sorted through piles of clutter and cleaned up longstanding messes. I worked for hours on end, but I did it with a spring in my step because I knew I could labor away without worrying about when naptime would end or Joy would get bored and want some Mama time.
Of course, there were still occasions when I couldn’t resist stopping to play with her, but most of the time I was grateful to let Daddy take over so I could get some solid hours of work in. Bless his heart.
In addition to my progress with the piles, Phillip and I both gained a bit of empathy from the experience. Phillip said that after hours of entertaining, protecting, and running errands with Joy, he can understand why I’m so eager for him to take charge when he gets home so I can devote my full attention to making dinner.
For my part, I now understand why many parents hire nannies. If it wasn’t so important to me to establish a tight-knit family and teach my children certain values, the liberation of having someone else take care of them would be awfully tempting.
*His only class on Thursday is Book of Mormon at the Institute, but he usually spends several hours working in the lab, too.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
There is nothing like perspective and empathy to foster appreciation and greater love. Plus - actually getting something done feels pretty good too.
Last night I had a stake relief society meeting...so the kids were with TJ. When I got home, everyone was happy. Toys were picked up. Jammies were one. Laughed was rolling. And I needed that. To go away and come home to a happy home, where I'd been missed.
I haven't checked in for a while; you have been prolific! While each post bears comment; i will try ti keep on task. :)
The last two years when Platboy went back to school, I worked as a teacher. Except for the occasional sitter when our schedules overlapped in the middle of the day, my hubby was with the kids every day. We really learned a lot, and in many ways, Plantboy was just at adept at staying home as I was. Now I'm adjusting the other way. Some things I really love--just hanging out with my boys, my lazy reading days, finding fun things for the kids that I know Plantboy overlooked, feeling in charge, taking carer of the money, that sort of thing.
But i miss teaching. I miss feeling like I was doing my part to help our always-tight budget. I miss the pats on the back that my boss, kids' parents and kids themselves gave. I miss getting 'dressed for success' every day and my strong sense of purpose.
I don't mean to imply that mothering doesn't come with a strong sense of purpose; I wouldn't be doing what I am otherwise, but it is hard to see the forest for the trees sometimes in the day-to-day slog of stay at home parenting. And I've worked with enough deeply troubled kids to know that there is little that can compensate for not having a loving, tender mother as a more or less constant presence during the first few years of life.
But with all that said, it is easier for me to see myself as a working mother, in a few years. For me, I think it will be the right choice. Experience has shown me that my heart will tell me truly when it is the right time.
Go Phillip! It's amazing how much we can get done without an "emergency" coming up every 10 seconds.
Post a Comment