On our recent anniversary, Phillip and I decided to purchase The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We're currently a few chapters into it, and it has provided some helpful insights.
A statement in his introduction particularly struck me. Chapman said a child's most important, basic need is "to sense that he or she belongs and is wanted." I think that is at the core of every relationship - we all want to feel that we belong in a group (whether it be a family, a circle of friends, etc.), and that people like us and want us to be there.
I think that is also at the heart of my relationship with Joy. First of all, she belongs with our family. Other babies are cute and all, but when I see her, I think, "Ah! There's the baby that is inseparably connected to me. I'm hers, and she's mine." That said, I need to make sure she likes this family she's stuck with, and that she knows we like her.
Funny that a book on marriage makes me think about parenthood. Perhaps that's because I've been preparing for and nurturing my marriage for years, but I'm still very new to motherhood so any new advice is a revelation.
8 comments:
It's so true. A childs attitude, personality, and esteem all depend on that too. With Lauren and Sofia, I am trying to teach them how to be happy with themselves, at home with doing activities, developing hobbies, talents, and enjoying to some degree doing chores. We already have so many women out of the home in the work field. It's going to be even worse when the girls are married. The one complaint I get from all the moms is, they were so depressed being at home, so they went to work. We as moms now need to help our daughters learn how to be happy within the home, so they are prepared to stay at home with their children. Talk about lots of work and convincing hahah.
The ironic thing is that women who flee domesticity because it's often tedious and frustrating are likely to find the same conditions at most jobs. In both spheres, there are many gratifying moments interspersed among hours of hard and sometimes aggravating work.
The difference is that one role gives you a paycheck and concrete recognition, while the benefits of the other are harder to quantify. How do you measure the impact your presence has on your children's development and their relationship with you?
I know. What else is funny! Is this Lady wanted more kids, so her and her husband got into the adoption program. They were offered 4 kids under 5. They fasted and prayed and felt that this was the right thing to do. They get the kids in a week. There all going into daycare because she works!!! The ages are 4,2,12months, and a newborn not even a week old.!! Why go through all that and want kids if your having someone else watch them????
Good book, some interesting concepts in there. We've liked it, as it gives you something to think about.
my husband asked for this book for christmas (when we had only been dating a couple of months) and he read it and then encouraged me to read it. his love language is the one that was lowest on my list. it is helpful to know his so i can work on showing him i love him in many ways that i wouldn't have otherwise. enjoy!
I didn't realize this book was so widely known.
So far we're enjoying it. As Jessica says, it really gets you thinking.
All truths that re-reveal themselves to us, can be applied to all areas. The gospel is true and so it is universal. The simpler discoveries we make can aid us not only in the specified area...but others as well. What good is learning something new...or discovering something about ourselves...or stretching in a new way...if it is isolated? All truths are applicable.
You know? I LOVE reading your blog. It makes me think about my own life...and reanalyze (sp?) the important aspects that make it up. I feel like I can relate to you, and that we have many foundational focuses in common. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me (and of course others, but I always feel like you're writing for me). I am glad that we're family now. (as loose and rarely seeing each other and iteration of family it is).
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