When Baby and I were out for a walk today, we encountered an older gentleman who decided to strike up a conversation with Joy. I noticed she was grinning as he spoke to her. In fact she was smiling more than I'd seen her smile in the last few days. I realized it was probably because he was smiling at her, too.
That in itself was no great epiphany, but it made me recognize that I have not been smiling at my baby much lately. Most of the time that she is awake, I imagine I wear a very serious face as I try to determine what basic needs must be met (hunger, rest, sanitation, etc.), what comes next on her eating/sleeping schedule, or how best to entertain her (you know you're a grown-up when playing requires significant mental effort). I'm so busying managing that I forget to just have fun.
Ironic that this revelation occurred right after my post about showing Joy we like her. I can just imagine her thinking, "It's great that they feed me and change my diapers, but I sure wish that mom-lady was a bit more friendly." I want to teach her that home life - and life in general - should be enjoyed and not just endured.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
It, of course, is so good to realize that kids need you to play an interact with them. But don't be too hard on yourself; a lot of what these little ones do, biologically speaking, is just reacting. Their basic security and comfort comes from their routine and their needs being met. So while you feed, clothe, bathe and change her smile often and well. But don't project your grown-up feelings on to her. Her "joy" comes from the no-doubt excellent care that you give her.
It is amazing how much mental effort is needed in caring for children. It is more mentally demanding than any college course I have taken and more physically demanding than a marathon (just think of labor and delivery). Now that Archer is 3, it is constant talking. Constant. Yesterday he asked me what everyone's name is in the world. By 5 PM, I am exhausted mentally. So, something to look forward to. You are doing a great job. We can't do everything that every parenting books suggests, we can only do our best.
What I found to help, is getting learning activities that the kids are interested in and doing it with them. One place we go to all the time is the Orchard. You trade. Whatever your children are done with you give to them and then they can pick out other stuff in the store that is new to them. Without having to buy anything. Another place we love to go is to the La habra childrens museum. There are several rooms where the kids get to experience different things in each room. They change some of the rooms every 6 months. For 10 months and up, everything is hands on, Christopher has been going since he was 4. He is just starting to get a little bored with it, now that he will be turning 11.You can look at it online and others that are closer to you. Also tv shows. I don't care what the experts say about tv. One of our favorite shows is Hi-five on Discovery kids, we all dance sing, act and just have so much fun together. Another one is yo gabba gabba on nick. We just jam. One of Sofia's favorite is Go baby on disney. I do it with her, it's only 5 minutes and she just has a blast. She is 11 months, and she dances to hi-five and yo gabba gabba. Christopher and Lauren love Zaboomafoo. Going to museums, libraries,zoos, science centers, and camping have helped them smile alot. Each library has awesome reading activities for all ages, Also. Also Moms club and Mommy and Me classes, which you can host at your home so you don't have to go anywhere! It helps us Adults have some sanity and learning and fun in our old age hahah.
oh my goodness ... its amazing tho huh ... you forgot little things like that. i know youre an amazing mom, and joy knows that too.
Don't worry everyone - I'm not crying myself to sleep over this. I'm just trying to remind myself to enjoy life and not take everything so seriously. :) I think a healthy dose of humor is at least as important in a family as food and cleanliness, and I'm trying to keep them all balanced.
Great ideas, Serena. Thanks for sharing them. I know the yoga studio nearby has a Mommy and Me class, and I'm thinking of giving it a try.
I just had a similar realization this week. When Tyler is napping, I usually try to get a few things taken care of or have a little quiet time. I realized this is prime time for me to play with Dylan one on one. Of course he loved the attention and I felt guilty for not doing this earlier!
I'm with you there. Completely. I have to frequently remind myself that dishes can wait...and it's okay if a few toys are one the floor....my babies will not always be babies...and they will not always plead for me to stop and read to them a little...or to build a tent...or just to cuddle.
Anna Quindlen - "It is so easy to waste out lives ;our days, our hours, our minutes…It is so easy to exist instead of to live."
Og Mandino - "Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself."
Flavia - "Sometimes it's the simplest joys that give the heart its sweetest pleasures."
Helen Keller - "The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
Post a Comment