"We read to know we are not alone," according to a character in the film "Shadowlands." I assume he meant we seek confirmation that others share our ideas, desires, fears, etc. I confess I've never really felt that way about reading (frankly, I just like a good story), but the principle definitely applies when it comes to blogging.
When we are around other people we tend to be on our best (or at least our better) behavior. It's not necessarily hypocritical - we're just trying to accentuate the positive so socializing will be an uplifting experience. The only trouble is that when everyone leaves their problems home, it can give each person the impression that they're the only one with a disorderly life or misbehaving children.
In the blogosphere, though, we're less concerned with keeping up appearances. We share our highs and lows - the former inspiring, the latter comforting as we're reminded that we're not the only ones who get discouraged by our challenges and faults. I'm grateful for a forum that allows me to see both the divinity and humanity of the people I know.
4 comments:
I agree with you wholeheartedly. I think this is especially true for new mothers. There are so many things that carry some kind of stigma in our mind and we are afraid that people will "find out" when the truth is we can connect and support each other in such a meaningful way if we share them. For instance postpartum depression. I had it for 8 months after my son was born and I had no idea. Then once I recognized it I was so scared that people would find out. Finally I realized how silly this was and how much it would have helped me to have someone stand up and say "I had this and it is common. Here is what it looks like and what worked for me." Now I try to casually mention my experience to new moms. It is still hard to do because I feel like some judge me based upon this, but if I could help just one girl avoid this experience then isn't all the shame worth it?
I felt the same way when I lost 2 pregnancies. Suddenly so many people were sharing their experiences with me and I was surprised at how many people have gone through this. I am forever grateful to these wonderful women for helping me to understand that this too shall pass. I found comfort from women who were in their 80's as well as those who are my own age. Isn't that the purpose of Relief Society or on a much larger scale the purpose of this life? I know that some don't feel comfortable in discussing their private life but in the end what are we hiding? I would say we are hiding ourselves. We all have something to offer each other, I think we just have to find the courage to do so.
I am so glad that you have this blog because as I am reading what you have written, I see myself. We may not have the same strengths and we may not have the same flaws, but we are doing our best and by sharing all of these things we find common ground and comfort. I applaud your courage to put it all out there!
PS If you hate my rantings you can let me know.
Actually, your rantings are much appreciated. I'd rather have this blog be a conversation than a monologue. The former is much more interesting for all concerned. :)
Plus, it's nice to know my musings are benefiting someone.
I would like to add in an agreement for those of us married women who have no children by choice. Ironically enough, this is an incredibly uncomfortable position in our society because many people see us as "not grown up" yet since we haven't gone through the birthing ritual.
But your point stands nonetheless. I have one friend in particular who is in the same position that I am and it is a wonderful thing to be able to share experiences with her to know that my struggles with the issue are not unique. In fact, she and her husband have a lifestyle very similar to mine and Louis's and after I spent the night at their house, I felt so...normal. And not so alien. And if they hadn't trusted me enough to let me see them in their "natural habitat," I would have continued to think I was an aberration to nature.
I read somewhere (speaking of reading!) that there is catharsis in trust...it is true. Often we are scared about sharing our deeper parts but once we find the courage to, we often find a much deeper acceptance.
Agreed. We celebrate uniqueness, but it's also important to have relationships in which we understand and relate to each other.
Post a Comment